forever upset that this was not in the movie
Goddamn these books are gold mines
//This began the rise of Aperture Science.
SPRTIZ THIS SHIT ON YOUR DICK AND YOUR E HARD FOR LIFETHAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE, SIR
SPRAY IT ON YOUR NIPPLES
U L T I M A T E N I P P L E S
T H A T I S N O T T H E I N T E N D E D U S E S I R
One of my favourite things about Harry Potter is that Harry is such an unreliable narrator, not because he’s lying, but because he was so oblivious, just about anything could be going on under his nose and he wouldn’t even notice. It’s great because it supports basically every headcanon. Like, no, Harry would not have noticed if Sirius and Remus were dating, I know he’s The Chosen One but he’s about as perceptive as a pile of bricks.
"dont worry, mister romney, were only going to the park to play fetch!" says mitts campaign manager
"oh boy!!" says mitt
mitts jubilation slowly turns to horror as they pull into the veterinarians office
Moms reaction verse dads reaction
dads just sit around and wait for shit like this
there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that
Petition to have a
very gaysports anime *pause for effect* with girls
imagine sherlock being scared of spiders
"john. there’s a spider in the bathroom."
"i need a shower."
"you… you have to get rid of it."
"you just have to."
"sherlock. don’t tell me you’re frightened of sp-"
"JUST do it. please."
and john flushes the…
Bro come on just tuck me in bro you know I can’t sleep unless someone tucks me in man